This is what I wrote during last night’s Parade of Nations. Colombia and possibly some other countries were ignored by the US TV coverage. I paused occasionally but couldn’t pause for long because the DVR only saves 30 minutes of HD programming. I don’t know the names of things and didn’t have time to look them up.
Pictures of some of the most interesting outfits are attached at the end.
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Greece: vivacious, relaxed striped shirts, open collar, blazers
Afghanistan: sharp suits, shiny blue ties with crowns
Albania: Ugly red jackets, white open-collar shirts
Algeria: crisp track suits, white top, green pants
American Samoa: Garb from a Bugs Bunny cartoon, tropical shirts, all brown, fang necklaces
Andorra: red polo shirts, black … hoodies? Surprisingly slovenly
Angola: gingham dirndls
Antigua and Barbuda: Very sharp black suits, yellow shirts, some have ties some don’t
Argentina: ugly blue tracksuits with circa-1990 Umbro pattern
Armenia: look like they’re going to perform a Jewish wedding ceremony or something. Shawls? Linen pants?
Aruba: Lou Bega
Australia: hunter green blazers. Women have nice silk neckerchiefs.
Austria: ugly four-button blazer/jackets. ugly patches. face paint another negative
Bahamas: I don’t like the light blue-white combination but it’s their flag colors. More scruffy blazers. Mostly-female team – runners?
Bahrain – everyone’s red/yellow robe looks different. too busy
Bangladesh: Love these ones. Grey blazers, charcoal pants, green ties. Only one woman? Red dress and grey blazer, a bit odd
Barbados: same shirts as Antigua, same blazers as Azerbaijan, Dockers
Belarus, extreme flag-color fixation with red shirt, green tie, but then entirely covered by white suit and pimp hat
Belgium: Women have red blazers, men have red vests and black suits, look very wealthy, great.
Belize: Carnival barkers. Women in … bonnets? Ribbon looks like ribbon candy
Benin: opposite color scheme to Bahamas. Light blue good color for headwraps
Bermuda: red shorts? high black socks? Stewardesses x10
Bhutan: Giant cuffs, multiple silk outfits, not sure what to think
Bolivia: subtle shirt stripes, yellow ties not tied tight enough, Dockers, blah
Bosnia: Navy suits. Random businessmen. Flag waver is a doof
Botswana: I like the Montsho white suit. Men more sharp businessmen. Black suits, blue tie, flag colors good
Brazil: Those scarfs look stupid. Is that Mourinho? Some with green skirts, some yellow
B.V.I. tan suits. I like the green scarfs.
Brunei: Nice hijab and grey ensemble. Men look generic.
Bulgaria: No flag colors at all. Ecru blazers, berets. Can’t tell if solid color or stripes. Cabanawear
Burkina faso: A little on the nose. Red/yellow/green AND too baggy. Sneakers? Nice straw hats
Burundi: Went ALL OUT with robes. And walking sticks. Fabulous
Cambodia: Tan blazers, navy pants? You’re backwards.
Cameroon: Beuatiful embroiderd Robes that make everyone look 250 pounds. Beautiful and complicated hats
Canada: CANADA windbreakers. White shirt, red tie. Pants too thin. Sikh guy
Cape Verde: Windbreakers, seemingly no uniform under windbreakers. Blah Nice flag
Caymans: nice straw hats. green tie. more carnival blazers with huge lapels. green cuffs very nice touch
C.A.R.: ties with woolen jackets? Weird.
Chad: Same shirts and ties as C.A.R., with actual jackets this time. Still not great
Chile: red and blue striped ties? nothing special. Why don’t they all wear the archery lady’s hat?
China: white Dockers, red blazers, gold trim a nice touch
Comors: Those hats are weird. I like the baggy pants because they match the shirt
Congo: Average businesspeople. Nice blue/blue/white ties I guess
Cook Islands: Wow Hawaiian stereotype galore, green color scheme
Costa Rica: hat, jackets, pants three different shades of beige. Interesting look
Cote d’Ivoire: These robes are promising. Didn’t see details.
Croatia: Wow lots of people! Way too relaxed, tracksuits, I see midriff
Cuba: Love the ties. Shirts oddly small collar. Yellow blazers not so nice, look like NFL commentators
Cyprus: By far the nicest windbreakers so far. Is orange a Cyprus color?
Czech: Blazers and shorts? Women look like they’re going from work to Zumba class. What are those, umbrellas? Galoshes? Covered with sparkles? WTF
DPRK: Look like poor but studious boarding-schoolers. ties and scarves askew
Dr. Congo: Yellow polo shirts. First polo shirts of the day.
Denmark: Women wearing 1940s-era blouses? Women look great. Men need to tuck in shirts, blazers too shiny,Dockers too baggy
Djibouti – I love the flag bearer. What is this other women have over her eyes?
Dominica: Men with matching ties and vests, TARTAN. Woman has green poncho reminischent of parrot on flag. GREAT
Dom. Republic : Ribbon on cowboy hat exactly lik eBelize. Men in guayaberas with strange stripes.
Ecuador: Tracksuits, saggy but nice colors, yellow yellow, but look bad next to people in suits
Egypt: Love the grey shirts with same-color-grey-but-black-striped ties. Nice grey hijab. Red scarfs getting too common
El Salvador: Wow. Gradients from white to navy. Certainly ambiious but … They look a bit embarrassed. Who’s the fat guy?
Equatorial Guinea: generic dark suits, red ties
Eritrea: gray suits, nice I guess. Look like something Larry Sanders would wear
Estonia: those shirts are shiny. How is the name attached? ARE those shirts?
Ethiopia: white. no time
Fiji: look like senior citizens, blue bocce ball wear
Finland: Umbro-pattern greyscale shirts – sweatsuit tops? white bottoms. Sneakers, not good
FYROMacedonia, very lightweight garb but long sleeved. Red pants snappy
France: I guess the ties are the shade of blue on the flag but I was surprised somehow. Not interesting. Designed for looking OK in groups?
Gabon – grene scarves look familiar. white cowboy hats nice ribbons
“The wily Bongo”
Gambia: Robes look like rain slickers. Great cuffs / collar
Georgia: Look like Canada but chic. Lot of old guys
Germany: This is a huge mess. Pastels? Same hats as Gabon? Bright blue? PINK? Scarves, blah blah
Ghana – Understated black things with ridiculous gold-lettered scarves ostentatious
Grenada – Good outfits – yellow-green shirts, dark green suits, ties striped, rhythm
Guam – not quite as stereotyped as other Pacific islands
Guatemala – I just don’t like this light blue color. espeically for blazers
Guinea: robes look like somthing someone would actually wear, nice mixed greys
Guinea-Bissau: Like Eq. Guinea but … women are wearing dark gray suits like men, only difference is white pants? Odd decision
Guyana: Red shirts, yellow suits. Yellow is the right shade but This is a bit much. Women inverted.
Honduras – look sharp, navy jackets and lighter pants. Nothing between HA and HO?
Hong Kong: very pale tan blazers and blue pants. Again, this is backwards. nice straw hats
Hungary: Women unflattering red dresses. Men unflattering rodeo waiter outfits.
Iceland: Flagbearer looks like model. Oh, so does she. So do all the men. monotone blue windbreakers, good I guess. Crisp. team of androids from PROMETHEUS
India: Yellow turbans look like radish sculptures. Nothing else is clear
Indonesia: Nehru jackets are red. Women wearing three layers of leg covering? Like the black fezzers
Iran striped shirts, open collars, grey suits, Ahmadinjad look but striped
Iraq: tracksuits. Surprising! In national colors but look like the’re from Foot Locker
Ireland: that shade of green is always good but the zippered jackets are not.
Israel: What is that guy’s hair – nice shade of blue. More cabanawear. Pants PURE WHITE
Italy: These women’s scarves are the nicest? blue and white stripes. Men TINY ties. Understated
Jamaica – Yellow is too bright. Green is not good for tight pants. Uncordinated. Is that terrycloth? Wow, only team with apantyhose
Japan: same as China? Without the gold trim. I like the big collar points on the women
Jordan: women lovely flowers and/or stripes on robes. No men?
Kazakhstan: They look bizarre. Baseball caps? Blonde women? Jackets like Mubarak with name KAZAKHSTAN repeated. Scarves look actually warm
Kenya – Long red shirts, love the black buttons
Kiribati – outfit is flag. Nice wreaths. VERY nice wreaths.
South korea – whtite fedoras. lanyards obscure details. more white pants, sailor jackets
Kuwait: some in full dishdasha, some in jeans: Do not understand
Kyrgyzstan: Main guy’s hat even worse than Kazakh hat. I want to see fur hats not these polygons
Laos: Most generic-businessmen yet. Few even wearing techy glasses.
Latvia: Can’t go wrong with those colors. Well you can, but they used cream instead of pure white.
Levanon: Red is too orangey. Men and women have NOTHINg in common.
Lesotho: More gradient, this time not all the way to navy. gThey mock the Chinese with their conical hats
Libya: One guy in a nice suit.
Liechtenstein: are those jeans? Idle rich, blech
Lithuania – birght shirts, big collars, white jackets. Doesn’t quite work. Kevin Kline looks proud to be there.
Luxembourg: more idle rich.
Madagascar: Mulberry colord pants. Sleeves longuitudinal stripes. Straw Hats biggest brims yet. chaos but good
Malawi – like the combo of red and VERY DARK BLUE-GREEN and black suits
Malaysia – Oh god. Tiger-striped hammer pants? Red and white sneakers? Tiger-striped papal miters?
Mali – nice uniform white robe look. Keita great earrings
Malta – open shirts boring
Marshall islands – those wreaths and weird shawls all look like they were bought at Marshall’s
Mauritania – rival Mali in nice robes, this time blue.
Mauritius – those shirts should NOT be tucked in but they are. They should ALL have the four-color scarfs
Mexico – these outfits were all designed by Jorge Campos and made by Oaxacan woodcarvers. Everyone is different MY EYES
Micronesia – tropical shirts but don’t look stupid.
Moldova – exactly my low expectations. Grey shirts look too tight for men, men in dressup clothes and WOMEN ONLY in tracksuits? How does that make sense
Monaco – Classy rich, not idle, up thwere with Gelbium
Mongolia – only sawflagbearer. He’s a time traveler
Montenegro – HOW ARE THIS MANY? Montegro like 400,000 people, 4,000 are Olympianms. Handball and water polo teams? Look like suede suits. Many buttoned only top button of 3 and look sleepy.
Mozambique – I like these shirts – burgundy. Black pants. Tan jackets. Nice actually.
Myanmar – nice grey suits.
Namibia – nice loose brown outfits. First to be BROWN rather than tan or beige
Nauru – All I see is 1 big sumo guy
Nepal – women in fake-looking dresses. Men in cool black hats.
Netherlands – Michael Phelps carries the flag. Again these people have too many outfits. Orange is limited but still too much.
New Zealand – those shirts are fabulous. Black with small patterns AND fern thing
Nicaragua: standard blue suits
Niger: white robes not as big as mali’s, like the orange hats and the green things
Nigeria: These robes are too big. The hats are too big. Like the Celtic knot
Norway: Idle rich. “N” logo looks like baseball team from the 40s
Oman – I LOVE these guys’ headwraps. They look worn! Except the idiot in the baseball cap
Pakistan – second people in vests without jackets. Vests oddly cut straight across the bottom
Palau – these look like corduroys. Flag bearer is wearing Patrick Henry-style wig.
Palestine – nice scarf. Silvery. Peace signs
Papua New Guinea – ED HARDY
Paraguay – more straw hats with ribbons. More white pants. Woman in stewardess red dres
Peru – too baggy
Philippines – Nice shirt pleats
Poland – white blazers and white shirts, women have short blazers, skirts are great. Stirped shirts stereotype red-white obsession
Portugal – SOCCER SCARVES. Light blue shirts, white collars, navy jackets, dockers .. but GREEN BERETS tres schic
Puerto Rico – Lou Bega. Tourist insignia on fedoras
Qatar – dishdashas – women all in black – oh, that woman is in a Qatar-colored tracksuits
Romania – mustard-yellow balzer? White shirt and white scarf? Something’s missing
Russia – straw hats? Of all the countries to have straw hats. Men have great scarves. Sharapova seems to be the only woman, oh there’s some more. Look like real clothes, except the silly hats
Rwanda – White Shirt buttoned up but no tie or jacket. ASCETIC
St. Lucia – black sneakers?
St. Vincent and Grenadines – same ugly green pants as Jamaica. Tops are unique and go well with flag .
Samoa – flowers in hair.
San Marino – Rich rich rich Blueblue blue
Sao Tome and Principe – Men like Rwarnda, women in nice muumuus
Saudi Arabia – as you’d expect
Senegal – Love the yellow robes. Men’s are loose, women’s are tight. Hmmmm. Woman is waving like The Queen
Serbia – jackets with rounded lapels on women, look bad. Men in sweaters? Or is that just Djovokic. All red and white. Men much better than women
Seychelles – nice cream colors and striped ties
Sierra Leone – not robes! Flowing white crinkly shirts, nice green yokes.
Singapore – terrible except the pastel scarves
Slovakia – Hats of scenesters. Women have striped tracsuit tops, men have non-striped tracksuit tops. Terrible
Slovenia – men in grey suits over blue zip-ups? Women same but green zip-ups? Better than it sounds. no wasted fabric
Solomon Islands – they look embarrassed by those getups. What’s that guy done to his beard?
Somalia – Sky blue looks good for hijabs. Men’s scarves with stars look chintzy.
South Africa – Colors all over the place. Would look good on one person, not a crowd.
Spain – Gasol looks like MCConaughey in that hat. Scarves look great. Women too much yellow, men not enough but great paisley? ties
Sri Lanka – great outfits, stripes on one side but not the other. Muted colors but many colors
Sudan – robes too big. Women in giant napkins, sorry to say it
Suriname – maybe best tracksuits yet. Mostly green. Nice flag crets too
Swaziland – Nothing to say here, suit and tie
Sweden – Back to 1978 for these. Kristy McNichol and Charlene Tilton
Switzerland – red sweatervests, grey suits, men and women are the same but men’s is pullover and women’s is zipper? looks sharp
Syria – Ties too shiny. Ties too big. Suits too polyester. I see a wealthy fatcat
Taiwan – Striped jackets are hard on the eyes en masse, but also look bad with the non-striped pants. Lack of effort, D-minus
Tajikistan – That woman is in a nice silk pattern – Men in crazy blue-green shiny blazers. I just saw that guy for Syria, now he’s Tajik
Tanzania – women have nice flag-based scarves. Men look like elderly businessmen
Thailand – understated and attractive suits. Women in same suits as men but without ties.
Timor-leste – again nice flag scarves. Not much else.
Togo – Those shirts are too much clashing. Baseball cap never good either. THEY ALL HAVE BASEBALL CAPS. White guy in neck brace, what:
Tonga- – Plaid-ish ties are good. Everyone has a DIFFERENT grass-skirt thing. Ties are very good.
Trinidad / Tobago – nice combo of red and black. Women have what look like sashes but are part of the dress, great idea. Men should have ties but don’t, just black shirts
Tunisia – no ties. All unbuttoned in exact Same way. Hijab looks elastic, not great
Turkey – Nice shade of beige, same shade for both jacket and tie – circular badge slapped on lazily
Turkmenistan – WOW. Velvet jackets. Satin? I forget which is which. Great hats but just for women!8-pointed stars! Blue! Green!
Tuvalu – face paint. Dumb tracksuits. Unique color scheme, blue and orange but not bright.
Uganda – men have off-white shirt things with great collars. Women have matronly robes.
Ukraine – Finally, A Furry Hat! only on flag bearer. Everyone else, barf
UAE – I see no theme here at all. Negative points and more negative points for baseball cap
USA – Nice flag scarves. Berets look good. All have badge right at front of hat, kind of unnerving. Look like prep school ties. Rounded collar points, brass buttons. Nice white skirts
Uruguay – light blue is nice. Hey where are they? USA again, USA USA
Uzbekistan – brown! All wearing same brown outfit. Businessmen
Vanuatu – red, yellow, green, black, blurry
Venezuela – all white. Never good.
Vietnam – cream jackets, dark tan pants. Snappy.
Virgin Islands – US ones? Most rustic straw hats yet. Nice blue summer shirts.
Yemen – that guy looks really wealthy. Jackets too shiny for black jackets.
Zambia – hunter green jackets, light green ties. I guess I always like that.
Zimbabwe – prep school outfits,
Team GB – crinkly gold trim on white outfits? Look like Sgt. Pepper’s Abba band. Pretty ostentatious. Who are those girls in the peasant petticoats? Anticlimax for real
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There are not many photos out there of the costumes. I couldn’t find Madagascar or Malawi or Niger, some of the best African ones.
Anyway, some of the good:
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and the weird:
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