We all know women in the James Bond world have ridiculous names. Someone who’s barely significant in a single scene will off-handedly be named something like “Jenny Flex” or “Molly Warmflash”. But after seeing the pivotal butterfly puppeteer assassination in A View To A Kill, I wondered if that scene featured a particularly ridiculously-named man — or if there are ridiculously named men are more common than I think. Here are the ones I came up with (aside from the obvious henchmen: Jaws, Oddjob, Tee Hee, Nick Nack, etc.)

Achille Aubergine (Jean Rougerie, A View To A Kill)

Morton Slumber (David Bauer, Diamonds Are Forever)

Nigel Small-Fawcett (Rowan Atkinson, Never Say Never Again)

Professor Joe Butcher (Wayne Newton, Licence To Kill)

Puss-Feller (Lester Pendergast, Dr. No)

Auric Goldfinger (Gert Fröbe, Goldfinger)

Think about it. That name is horrible. Just idiotic.

Sir Godfrey Tibbett (Patrick Macnee, A View To A Kill)

In A View To A Kill Bond gets an age-appropriate partner for once, MI6’s horse expert Sir Godfrey Tibbett (second from right, above). Roger Moore and Patrick Macnee also once played Holmes and Watson.

Gustav Graves (Toby Stephens, Die Another Day)

It would take an odd sequence of events to produce someone named “Gustav Graves”. This also applies to “Franz Sanchez” (Robert Davi) from Licence to Kill.

Mr. Kil (Lawrence Makoare, Die Another Day)

He’s just a henchman with a nickname. But I wanted to post this picture.

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